Ten Meme: Seven Wants

Day Four of trying to post something and/or access LJ. Here goes!



So far, this has been the biggest mental challenge of the meme for me. I found something like 17 definitions for "want" in the dictionary ranging from wishes to deficiencies. My initial reaction, though, is that I want for nothing in my life. I would like to have more of some things--more financial security, more time, continued health--but I lack nothing vital. I have access to water, food, and shelter. I have loved ones and companionship. I am sound of mind and body.

Secondly, it occurs to me after a few days of thinking about the nature of 'wants' that if I really, sincerely wanted something I would be taking active steps to attain it. I'd be saving up or making compromises or planning my way to it. Saying "I want to win the lottery" but never buying tickets, for instance, is just me saying something would be nice and I wouldn't turn it down if it happened to me. "I want to be in better physical shape" without making a commitment to the diet and exercise it takes to achieve that is again, insincere. It seems lazy--like me making a grand order off the Universe's menu without being willing to go into the kitchen and cook it myself. Not a want but something I'd take and devour if someone else handed it to me, if it cost me nothing to have.

What does that leave me beyond those big, humanitarian wishes for other people, animals, or the world at large? Do those count as personal 'wants'? If so, doesn't everyone want those, by default, rendering this question entirely impersonal? Do I really need to tell you that I wish for world peace, environmental restoration, animal welfare, universal kindness and food for all? That's not something I'm lacking but something the entire world, as a whole, is lacking.

Maybe I've over-thought this--but I'm an unabashed air sign.

I don't have seven wants. I can't even think of one that meets my criteria. I have everything I need and I'm enormously grateful for it.

(Temple of the Twelve) Silver: The Magick of Perception

I first spent a month working with Silver in August/September of last year. Like this month, I wrote very little about my progress. It was a big shift then as astrology roared into my life and transformed from a long-held hobby into a portal to Everything. I found my niche, a spiritual place where my unique abilities, perceptions, and communicative abilities blazed into this light, this Sight, that changed me forever. I couldn't encapsulate that experience adequately on a journal. It was an initiation, a Mystery experience that felt impossible to explain or share. I came out the other side of that first Silver Moon with my whole brain rewired. I saw things differently. Something awoke with absolute purity and certainty and Light within me. My magick, as a witch, flared up and threaded into everything and I could see it. I found my way to the Divine, to plug in instead of just to visit.

This month, the lesson from Silver has been related to those first lessons about finding my personal magick, my own strengths, what I'm built to do well. Silver has pointed out the simplest, most powerful magick of all--the magick of perception. The silver token I started the month out with on my altar, the meditation focus, reads, "Problems are messages. I am listening." Problems are not sea walls to hurl myself and my magick against in order to fix or undo them. Problems are not inconveniences or detours on my mostly-serene spiritual path. Problems are messages. I remember when I first got that token, drawn to the serene image of a meditating figure under a field of stars but unsettled by the message on the back. Did I really want to invoke problems into my life? Do I really want to stand up and volunteer to be clotheslined by the Universe's oft-joked-of 'Clue By Four'? But I bought it then, despite my discomfort, and I included it as one of the central pieces of my Silver altar this month.

This month has had a lot of messages. It has been a month of painful misunderstandings, poor health, and many, many, many, many stressful minor emergencies. I started the month laughing and shaking my head and feeling like I was really in for it. (I was.) What I'm leaving the month with, though, is the unshakable certainty that problems aren't just messages--they are calls to greatness. They're opportunities to practice the magick of perception.

Through a month of repetitive mishap, I've come to appreciate what I have that much more. My sense of humor turns spectacular falls into pratfalls and the most terrifying moments of my day into entertaining stories to retell after the crisis is past. I'm scrambling to cope and adjust and do what needs doing, but I'm also aware at a calm inner level that these are minor life issues that do not touch the core of who I am or the heart of what's important.

I remember coming up with a personal motto awhile back. It was, In Gratitude--Peace and Plenty and this month has only engraved the message a little deeper into the soul of my spiritual and magickal practice.

An unbelievable amount of spellwork becomes unnecessary when I make a simple shift in perspective, in perception, from one of FEAR/scarcity/bitterness/regret/anger/impatience into one of LOVE/gratitude/joy/acceptance/compassion/patience. The need for action drops away and my life, my experience of it, becomes this tremendous self-restoring reservoir of peace, clarity, and magick.

I don't need to create magick. I am living a magickal life. I am made of magick. I need to work towards what I want, appreciate what I have, allow for things to change and surprise me, and remember to let go and breathe.

There is no more efficacious, instantaneous magick than stepping back and taking a second, more loving look at circumstances. Gratitude can transform anything. Problems are messages. I am listening. Problems are sometimes jokes, too. It's okay for me to laugh.




~*~

As a side note from the month, my three year old son and I were playing a game where I'd name one thing and he'd name the opposite. High/Low. Bright/Dark. Near/Far. Happy/Sad. I asked him what the opposite of "Scared" was and he said, "Good".

I suggested some alternatives but he was adamant. The opposite of scared is good. I've heard people interviewed for acts of heroism and they always seem to say they were scared, of course, but they turned it off and did what they felt was Right. They did what they could, they did what they must, they just had to despite the fear. Maybe Graeme is right--maybe when we choose to act out of Good we vanquish Fear's hold over us.

What have I to fear in my life if I choose to do good? If I choose to be grateful? If I choose to believe I have what I need?

It's magick. Far more powerful, more long-lasting, and more life-changing than any spell I could cook up in more traditional ways.