windinthemaples

1. Is there anything you'd add or remove from your initial self-portrait?
No. I was surprised with how it turned out and I realize that what was included in the self-portrait were all attributes I needed to recognize and that what was not included was not relevant to the big picture. If I'd done a self-portrait before this month with Black, I may have had a quite different picture emerge.

2. What would you say are your own gifts and talents?
For Midsummer, I bought a string of brass spiral sun beads. I'd intended to cut them apart and charge them for a little box of sunshine and encouragement for the darker half of the year ahead. There was a yarn knot in the middle of the string, making it a crudely constructed necklace, and I knew that I was the Light I needed. I was compelled to find something positive to say about myself for each bead on the string, a litany of abilities I could count out, bead by bead, rosary style. It took weeks to finally tackle the task and come up with so many positive things. Only the experience of making my self-portrait, understanding that the things I don't like about myself are the natural flipsides to the things I'm most skilled at, that I was able to look at myself in such a positive light. In the end, I had more good things than beads, leaving me truncating my list instead of struggling to fill it. What a beneficial change of perspective, to discover in my depths so many resources, worthy traits, and raw material for living the kind of life I dream of!

I am patient, compassionate, and I have a strong moral compass. I am generous, polite, and calm. I am a singer, a writer, and a reader. I am grateful for what I have, a natural optimist, and have a sense of humor in even the most trying times. I am good at keeping others calm, making them feel special, and being present when others need me there. I see beauty everywhere, have a harmonious aesthetic, and am graceful. I have a good voice for speaking and reading, can capture someone's divine nature in a photograph, and am quick at improvising both in play and in need. I have big picture perspective, a fair and logical mind, and can see more than just my side of a debate or opinion. I have a genuine love of learning, of people, and of the history we weave ourselves into. I have unshakable faith in my spirituality. I believe in people--individually and collectively. My positivity and compassionate drive are contagious--I make the world a better place by being in it. I am wise, I listen to the wisdom and messages of the Divine, I have a drive to do more and be better. I am fiercely loyal and maternal to those I love. I Love. I am creative. I am good at logically finding alternatives. I have strong self-control, respect for rules and laws, and a flexible nature. I am comfortable performing rituals, speaking in front of others, and talking about even the most sensitive issues with someone. I am not easily shocked. I know what to say. I am casual. I have almost inexhaustible energy for service and philanthropic efforts. I dream big when it comes to helping others. I'm intelligent. I am good. I remember and carry lessons learned from my past lives. I am respectful. I am quiet. I am filled with ideas of new ways to live, new paths to explore. I wish others well.

3. Do you feel you have fully explored them? Why or why not?
No. I do feel that, at this point in my life, I've got a good sense of my talents and gifts though. I know what they are, I am comfortable in this skin, with this mixture of abilities, but I haven't yet found the venue(s) to really harness and use them in the world-changing, life-affirming ways I'd like to. I do feel that I know what's in my tool bag, so to speak, though to work with.

4. How do you think Black would encourage you to explore the depths of those gifts and talents? What would she ask you to do with them?
The first thing Black ever said to me was, There is compassion in Black. I think She would encourage me to use my unique combination of Black/Underworld energy and compassion/Love to work philanthropically.

5. Do you feel any fear towards Black? If so, why?
No. I am anxious about losing control and Death as an end to my efforts in this life. I worry about running out of time before I get my act together and do the big, good things I'm capable of. I don't fear Black, though, as I have a healthy friendship and joking relationship with the dark moments in life. I know they won't last and I know that all trials make me better, more appreciative, more colorful.

6. How do you think you would react and interact with the color Black?
I'm naturally a scholar, so I think I'd most like to sit down and talk.

7. Select just one of the gifts and talents that you listed earlier, and in the spaces provided write down your plan on how you will improve that gift or talent.

I have almost inexhaustible energy for service and philanthropic efforts.
Once I get started on something, like collecting pajamas, there is no stopping me. I need to find those things that fire up my heart, volunteer where my abilities are needed, and otherwise GET STARTED. I know once I start, I accomplish great things. I will look for the opportunities to serve using my preexisting skill set and passions. This month's work is bookended perfectly, New Moon to New Moon, with volunteer shifts at my local homeless shelter. I was asked for help and I said yes, both times. How empowering it is to know that I am the help they needed and that I can find joy and meaning and growth in the process of giving to others. I am not depleted, only built up more. On a more practical note, I need to assess where I spend my time and make sure that I am using it for worthwhile works more than silly, transitory things like entertainments and time-wasting.