windinthemaples

On September 30th,

willow_cabin had their marriage formally and legally recognized by the state of New York. I'd missed out on their first wedding with Graeme as a newborn, so it was an honor and a joy and an unexpected second-chance that I was not only able to witness this (amazingly beautiful and sparkle-riffic) ceremony but to also participate as a bridemaid. Graeme, their goddess-son was asked to be the ring bearer. Summing the experience of this past week in a post is nearly impossible!

I realized on the plane ride home that watching Jenn and Sarah marry is the happiest day of my life. At my wedding, though I was a being of lightness and joy and sheer glowing and giddy euphoria, it still couldn't match how I felt when the minister pronounced, by the power invested in him by the great state of New York, that my dear and beloved friends were legally wife and wife. My wedding was a given. When I met Daniel, that first date, I knew I would marry him. No outside obstacle could keep the two of us apart once we'd found each other in the world. There's a calm serenity and certainty in that. With Jenn and Sarah, there were no such guarantees. They grew up in a country where same-sex marriages did not exist and even today, what they were granted is possible in only six states. It feels like a miracle, Love walking in the world, and a weight whose strain I didn't appreciate is gone from my shoulders. I do not have to worry about them anymore. What my friends, my dear family, that beloved beloved pair has now cannot be levered apart from the outside. They can spend the rest of their lives dreaming what to do together instead of daring to hope they can even be together. I'm flying with joy for them. Their wait for justice and acknowledgment is over.

I have very few photos from the festivities. Some gorgeous photos have been coming out from Laura Vasilion (

twelvepetals) of Vasilion Photography who was the official photographer of the wedding. For example, she took this one!

~*~

That said,

Wednesday, Graeme and I flew to Buffalo. We met up with

rubymulligan at the airport, wrestled to get a car seat into the rental car for an hour, and then drove out to our Lake Ontario waterfront rental house in the middle of a very scenic, farmy nowhere about fifteen or twenty miles north of the church. I'd always rather stay in a house than make-do in a hotel, so I'd reserved this rambling vacation house a few months ago and then found some bridemaids and whatnot to share the space with us. It worked out fairly well for a sight-unseen sort of guest house experience. :) (The view was incredible and the house was spacious but there was a torture-rack of a pull-out sofa and a strange room configuration that forced people to walk through other people's bedrooms to reach the bathroom or their own room. Rather odd, that lack of hallways.) At the house we met up with

wldhrsjen3 and her preteen daughter, Taryn, who'd driven all the way from Missouri! It was a rainy, misty, dark evening so we had no desire to get back into our cars to stock the house with food. Instead, the brides came over, along with

twelvepetals and her Jen, and Sarah and Jenn's local friends Hugh and Jer and we all ordered pizza and sniffed perfume and otherwise sprawled around in the living room for a few hours catching up and exchanging gifts and studiously NOT WORKING ON WEDDING STUFF. :D

Thursday was the beginning of the mad-dash to get ready for the wedding!

lenaperry,

greyeyedpixie and her husband, Corey, and

shveta_thakrar arrived safely. After a morning of delays and rain and grocery shopping, we met up at the house with every able-handed person to make all the food for the 60 or so guests. Taryn saved me by stepping in as babysitter extraordinaire and so we wrapped wraps and stirred salads and cut fruits and shuffled trays around our two fridges to make space for everything. I'd expected something like hair-pulling disaster but really it was fun and funny and a little frantic towards the end but everything worked out beautifully and was very, very rainbow-colored, too! :)

Rhiannon made miniature rainbow cupcakes. :D

That night, we caravanned over to the church for the rehearsal. It was a spectacular space--warm and historic, rich and comfortable at the same time. So glorious. Graeme had a little bit of a meltdown during the process but eventually we moved from marching-down-the-aisle to decorating the reception hall and he found a long-disused children's room with books and things to entertain himself with for the rest of the night while we did the place up.

(Photo by Taryn)

(Photo by Taryn)

The level of detail and thought and love and DIY-genius that went into the decorations cannot be overstated. It is unreal what Jenn and Sarah came up with and thought of. For example, every single guest got a hand-written letter at their place setting and a paper masquerade mask that had been traced and cut out with scissors. Who does that? :) It was awesome...every last little tiny bit of it. Taryn and Graeme took some photographs of the space for me during that set-up process. :D

Graeme was ready to drop so I had to leave early to take him to bed while the rest went on to the late-night diner rehearsal dinner. :)

Friday, the day of the wedding dawned just-slightly-less grey and rainy than the past two days had been. Outside the rental house, the waves were still wild and ominous, but the sky had a tiny bit of color. We were worried, though, because we had a three hour photo shoot scheduled at a SWAMP and it'd been raining all week. We had strapless dresses and water-fearing satins and high heels and it was raining and 40s/50s F. It seemed possible that we'd all arrive at the ceremony looking bedraggled, drippy, and mud-splattered. :D

The showers continued throughout the day. The wedding party convened at S&J's house and they had a "Let's try it!" attitude so we drove out to the hiking trails for photos. The canopy of the woods was enough to keep most of the raindrops away and the pine needle bedding underfoot suppressed most of the mud. Laura's photos of us seem sunny and surreal--some photographer magic there--and everything went so much better than our worst fears had been. We finished before the rains really started to fall and early enough to regroup at the church. Wet wipes got the mud off my skirt and I ditched my rather forest-y high heels and walked down the aisle barefoot. (It is possible everyone knew but maybe some didn't notice. ;) )

(Photo by Laura Vasilion)

Our eight colors represented various qualities that were being invoked. Hot Pink (Passion), Pink (Love), Orange (Healing), Yellow (Joy), Green (Nature), Turquoise (Harmony), Periwinkle (Art & Magic), and Violet (Spirit).

(Photo by Laura Vasilion)

(Photo by Laura Vasilion) -- The rings were in this treasure box that Graeme carried down the aisle. He took the responsibility very seriously, dear boy.

The ceremony was so heartwrenching and lovely. It was perfect. (It needs a post of its own or someone more articulate than me to describe it.)

costumenut played piano and sang Rainbow Connection and Somewhere Over the Rainbow. The brides walked down the aisle together to Love Came for Me from Splash. I grinned through half the event and struggled not to cry through the other. The looks on Sarah and Jenn's faces as they exchanged vows, it was so wonderful. Gods bless those two. <3

Mrs. and Mrs. Diemer <3 (Photo by Laura Vasilion)

The reception, too, was a delight to be part of. They'd thought up fun things for guests to do. We each had a box of crayons and the directive to decorate our own white paper doily placemats. There was a photo booth with props set up to pose and have general mustache-on-a-stick silliness at. Lots of fun and neat touches like that. After we ate, Graeme and I joined the dancing. He absorbed most of my time and attention so I didn't get to mix and mingle with the other tables (or even chat much with those at my own) the way I wanted and intended to but it was still a great time. He danced, we danced together, and many songs into the evening when he couldn't stand up under the weight of his tux anymore, I bundled him into the car and drove back to the house and carried him, sound asleep, up the stairs to bed.

Rhiannon's Placemat Art

<3 My mysterious date for the evening...

Everyone is coloring intently. :)

Saturday morning, we met up at the church with some early risers and cleaned up the venue, packed everything into Jenn and Sarah's car, and then had a fare-thee-well brunch with them at a local diner. It took about two hours to finish saying our goodbyes--everyone wanted Jenn and Sarah to go enjoy their honeymoon getaway and yet nobody could quite commit to saying the last goodbye and turning away first. <3 :)

rubymulligan,

wldhrsjen3, and Taryn left, so after brunch I stayed home and washed sheets and things so that Shveta and Lena (who had been couch-surfing it) could move upstairs into real bedrooms for the night. The rain outside fell, along with the temperatures, so it was a lovely and cozy time to be home.

Sunday, the rest of the guests at the house splintered off to go home.

aerialmelodies and her fiance, Ryan, who'd spent the night with us came with Graeme and I to the service at Sarah and Jenn's UU. Despite the formal atmosphere of the building, it was a very laid-back and laughing sort of service. There weren't more than ten people in attendance, I'd think, including the four of us guests! Despite that small number there was still a post-service coffee hour with apples and apple cider, crackers and cheese, donuts and the like. I can see why the two like the church so much. Everyone is so nice and welcoming and there's also this sense that every person counts there, could help transform and revitalize the dying congregation and the worn, old interior spaces. Such a lovely haven. <3

(See? They even had a sign!)

Shel and Ryan headed to the airport after the service and Graeme and I spent the day in the house washing sheets and towels, making up beds, and otherwise getting slowly ready to close the house up and fly home the next day. It was strange to be in the house, so quiet at last, surrounded by the sounds of Graeme quietly paging through books with the wind and the waves rushing and sighing on all sides of us.

Monday, I got us into the car and we drove to the airport by way of the curving coastal highways and the seasonal quaintness of Olcott Beach. Most everything was closed while we were there but we walked down to the beach and collected a couple pieces of pottery together, threw rocks until our hands were numb with cold, and strolled through the damp and deserted streets of the little village waterfront shops.

Our flight home was uneventful. :) I left our luggage just inside the front door. I can't imagine lugging it upstairs and Daniel will be home from Italy Wednesday night to help. :D

On the pregnancy front, I'm struggling a bit. I gained 8 lbs during the trip which can be put down to water-weight, swelling, and too many bad (deliciously bad) food choices. By the end of the rehearsal day, I was having contractions (scary!) and my feet got so swollen that even my wide and unfashionable Crocs had to be wedged on with some force. I've got some little stomach muscle strains from doing too much and being up and around a lot, but otherwise I kept up pretty well. I'll need to get back onto the wagon, food-wise, drink a ton of water, and spend some time with my feet up to get my swelling to hopefully come down. Tomorrow, I've got a visit with my doctor so we'll see what she has to say. That'll be the last trip I go on, though, as I've finally crossed the threshold from 'pregnant, but feel good enough!' to 'pregnant, and feel terrible'. So from now on, you'll have to visit me. :)