Santa-Rant

[windinthemaples]

Something I've been trying to express adequately to Daniel.

I have a real problem with the Santa Claus myth and how pervasive it is in our society. I imagine any child, no matter their socioeconomic position, is exposed in some way to images and ideas about Santa. The basics are that there is this benevolent man who lives far away and yet knows, intimately, about your deeds and your wishes. If you're good, he rewards you with fantastic toys on Christmas morning. If you're naughty, you get nothing or something worth nothing to you. In a lot of ways, he's God, right?

Only the problem is that it is us parents and caretakers who are playing God, playing Santa, by answering these prayer/wishes. And sometimes, no matter how deserving a child is, their parent cannot afford the burden of being a wish-granter.

So if we are telling our children, collectively, that Santa brings presents to the Good then what happens to the children of the poor? What happens to the children who wrote letters asking for bikes and got, maybe, a box of off-brand crayons from the dollar store? What happens to the children who believe in the magic, believe in their own worthiness and then have to watch as only the rich kids get showered with gifts and amazing surprises? Do their parents have to break it to them early and painfully that we parents are Santa? Does the impact of that good/naughty judgment break something inside of them? Does that put an impossible burden on those who can't afford to play Santa for their children? Does this only reinforce within some children the devastating idea that Santa/God is out there and just not answering their letters/prayers or just not there at all?


This naughty/nice thing is an ugly bit of social pressure we need to do away with. :/ It sends the message that yes naughty=no gifts but conversely, no gifts=naughty.

If wishes were reindeer and teardrops gifts, there would be a Santa and he would have enough in his bag to visit everyone.

Comments

[neva-butterfly.livejournal.com]

Not that my parents did many things right, but they always explained that Santa wasn't real but was a fairytale used to represent the spirit of giving. Of course that made me the kid in kindergarten making the other kids cry by saying santa was real.

When I was in New York we got letters to Santa and then went and bought things for poor kids, but pretty much all of them asked for clothes and practical things, so I guess they had a pretty good understanding that their letters to Santa were going to actual people who'd have to budget what they got.

I think even without Santa it's hard... Sean parents didn't raise him to believe in Santa but he never got Christmas presents and then he'd go to school and the teacher would go around the room and make everyone say what they had gotten and he didn't want to be the one kid who hadn't gotten anything so he always told elaborate lies in which he'd gotten the best and most expensive toys. To this day he hates Christmas, I mean really hates it, but makes some effort now for my sake.

Of course it's priorities too I guess. Sean's parents were just .... eh... I don't know, how you let your kids go hungry and have only one change of clothes and go to school dirty but find the money for nice things for yourself??? It's just awful.

Of course for many kids who don't get anything at Christmas it's like that, their parents have plenty of money to drink and smoke or whatever, but can't seem to find any money to do nice things for the kids.

[nebulosity.livejournal.com]

Oh my gosh, I COMPLETELY agree with this.

When I was a kid, my parents were poor. I had seen those small jeeps for kids, and the Barbie ones, and so when my mom took us to see "Santa" I asked for a Jeep for myself and a Barbie Car for my sister. It was the only thing I REALLY wanted.

When Christmas came, there was no Jeep and there was no Barbie car for my sister. I was SO UPSET. I was SURE that Santa was going to bring those.

I seriously, seriously dislike what this whole Santa thing does to kids, especially poor kids.

[aerialmelodies.livejournal.com]

I questioned Santa right off the bat. We had a tiny metal hole for a chimney, so my parents said he came through the front door and they would let him inside. I found it strange, but accepted that red dots in the sky were Rudolph (actually just planes from the nearby major airport) and went on with it. Then I became helper for opening mailed packages sporting gifts from family out of state. Inside were often boxes marked "SANTA" which made me ask why Santa would send gifts early to someone else to give to me. No real good answer was provided, and then my mom purchased stocking stuffers with me in tow AND a gift for my brother... that was then marked from Santa. I told my brother on Christmas Day that it was actually from mom, he cried that Santa wasn't real, and my mom was pretty angry. It sounds horrible, but I was too curious and honest to let that one slip through the cracks, heh.

In the end, my mom still gives gifts marked SANTA, though she says it's for the magic. I kind of like that answer more than "he gives you what you want." The magic and mystery of it all. Though in the end, parents should simply discuss who St. Nicolas really was. He was a kind man who handed out gifts to children in his day regardless of who they were or where they came from. That's Christmas. Not "I want a bike but all I got was this toy car." Or even nothing at all.

You know, this is partly the reason I wish charities would allow the donating family to give to the needy family. It puts a face on kindness for the children, and could provide us all with more meaningful insight than telling the poor child that a magical man came to visit. The idea is cute, but at a certain point, it'd be nice to have that smiling face handing over a new set of clothes. But that's just me.

Sorry I rambled, your post just got me thinking! I was totally a Santa killer in my heyday, heh. :x

[radshaun.livejournal.com]

While I disagree with the current commercialized version of Santa, I don't disagree with the idea of Santa. To me, Santa always represented the idea of magic.

Back before my mom remarried, Christmas was dicey at best. But Santa wasn't about presents, he was about hope and magic. Belief in Santa was a belief in the ability of someone bigger than myself to make miracles happen. That's the kind of Santa I think the world needs. I agree that the current incarnation of Santa can send the wrong message, but every child deserves magic and hope in their lives, and I believe that the myth of Santa has the power to provide that.

[mermaiden.livejournal.com]

I was going to say exactly this, but it's too late, and you articulated it better than I ever could on a good day, Shaun~ :) Frankly, I still believe in Santa...I've never stopped. His deep magic, and ancient roots (being the Holly King, and thus, reborn each year, giving us that sense that nothing truly ends) are such awesome magic...we need that now, more than ever, and with more and more people going back to the ancient roots of Solstice, we're seeing that magic more and more. :)

I'll write more about it on Seeking Light soon...I've been wanting to post what I believe Santa is and isn't to me very much recently, and you've totally inspired it, Rachel--thank you~ <3

[sugarmaplelife.livejournal.com]

I'd like to defend myself and say that I *never* said we should do away with Santa. Just that the naughty and nice list thing sucks. And that I wish all children could get gifts. I'm just as much a sap who cries at Christmas movies as anyone else.

Felt I should clear that up before I ended up struck from your Christmas card lists or woke up to find a lump of coal in my stocking. ;)

[mermaiden.livejournal.com]

*laughing* But what if we DID get your rocks? Just not coal. XDDDDDD *impish*

*LOVE* I totally agree with you...what Santa has evolved into is just plan wretched. :/ I wish there was a way to make the commercialism and consumerism of this time of the year fade away into nothingness. It drives me crazy, makes me so sad...the entire "reason for the season" (celebration, love, warmth created together) goes out the window in favor of buying everything from the mall for people-you-hate (a friend's exact verbage about this time of year). That's not how it was supposed to be, and the kids see that and get it worse and worse. It's a cycle that needs to stop.

[sugarmaplelife.livejournal.com]

Actually, rocks would be wonderful. :D :D :D (And really, coal might be cool, too.)

It is tough. I've spent too much of this holiday season worried about making sure I showed an equal amount of material love to various family members I never see. Like, let's just agree to not send each other anything, 'kay? :D

Let's watch The Muppets and drink hot tea and pluck angel ornaments off the Salvation Army tree instead! :)

[mermaiden.livejournal.com]

Yes and yes and yes!!!! *LOVE* There have been a thousand times thus far this holiday season where I wished we were next door to each other. I wish it all the time anyway, but this time of the year is the worst. ;-; *so much love* We miss you. A lot. Simple as that.

[sugarmaplelife.livejournal.com]

Hey, when were you thinking of coming to Florida? Had you hemmed and hawed over the dates yet? :)

[mermaiden.livejournal.com]

Yes!!! :D If it's okay with you, how's late January treating you? :)

[sugarmaplelife.livejournal.com]

Pretty darn well. I'll have to double-check on when we're flying my niece in and get back to you but I'll shoot for that. Any particular dates? Length of stay? :)

[sugarmaplelife.livejournal.com]

And you realize we're discussing next month or in a few weeks? :D :D :D

[mermaiden.livejournal.com]

I KNOW OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH IT FEELS LIKE IT'S BEEN A CENTURY!!!!!! ;-; *LOVE* We cried when it said on your card "see you soon!" you know. ;-; *SO MUCH LOVE*

[mermaiden.livejournal.com]

Yaaaaaaaay! :D

We were thinking the same that we did last time...I think it was this, last time... Fly in Tuesday night, fly out Sunday night? Is that what we did? I can't remember, and that's sad. XDDDDDD So the 26th to the 31st or the 19th to the 24th? Would you like us for that long? XD

[sugarmaplelife.livejournal.com]

I don't remember, either! *rummages for her dayplanner*

You flew in Tuesday night (Feb. 24th) and flew home Tuesday (March 3rd). A whole week!

And, let me reassure you, we'd love you to stay as long as you were able and wanted to. :) You've always got a home with us. :)

[ilea.livejournal.com]

This is the problem richard has with santa. We're not doing the whole santa thing. I figure if the girls ever question me I'll explain to them that santa is a fairytale to explain the spirit of giving.

In a way I'm sad that my girls won't get to experience the magic and wonderment that comes with santa but then I'm also glad they won't have the letdown of not getting something they really wanted.