Community Kids Brainstorming

[windinthemaples]

So I'm reading this book about how modern children don't interact much with other children. There isn't the neighborhood playtime that I experienced as a child where we all got together, impromptu, for summer evening games of kick the can or whiffle ball. Children are more likely to be indoors watching television and playing computer games than playing with a friend. It is just the way we operate now. This, combined with my dawning "commerce is at the heart of our troubles" realizations and I had this sudden vision for what I'd love to see in my own community.

I'd love to start a non-profit and rent out a large storefront somewhere. My motto would be something like, "Don't buy toys--borrow ours!". So to reduce toy purchase/manufacture, I'd operate a free toy library. There'd be a laminated photo 'card catalog' in the front that kids and their parents could flip through to find the toys they were interested in borrowing. Those toys'd be stored in a back room, out of sight. The large portion of the space would be for community gatherings, playgroups, arts and crafts, and other free activities for children and their parents. So it would be a space where parents and their children could meet and interact with other parents and their children under some friendly supervision and direction. The available toys could be unabashedly hand picked to emphasize imaginative play, non-violence, education, and sustainable materials. We could also, as a non-profit, accept donations of used toys from families that have outgrown what they purchased or just want to share what they have with others. There could be activity areas--like an arts and crafts corner where the activities and supplies/materials laid out change frequently, where getting messy is encouraged, and communal play areas with toys from our rental collection that we'd change out regularly to make each visit feel different and fresh. Every couple weeks or month, we could center activities and open toy play on a different theme. So like, you could walk in one month and be surprised to find colorful scarves and tents suspended from the ceiling forming a fairy court or a jungle of potted ferns and dinosaurs out to play with. I'd also have shelves of board games available to check out for family game nights and a safe area for infants to crawl and kick. Volunteer specialists could come teach classes, like children's yoga or pottery, and we could have regular times for age-specific playdates. Parents like me, with children underfoot, could come volunteer their time and/or work with their children at their side.

I spent some time talking it over with Daniel and he's super supportive. It fuses a lot of my desires and ideals. Daniel says it also utilizes my skill at being non-profitable. ;) Ha! (He also, not-quite-jokingly said my biggest expense would be in disinfectant.)

Why doesn't something like this already exist? Does it? Has anyone encountered a free family community space and toy lending library? I know of the concept but have never seen it in action outside of small grassroots mom groups getting together. Clearly, I need to do some research. Edited to Add: Who knew? There is an entire Toy Librarian's Association here in the States? Wow. How cool. Still, not much, if anything, is as ambitious as what I have in mind but it is nice to not have to reinvent the wheel for some of the functional considerations.

This isn't a matter of "if" but really a matter of "when". If I build it, will families come out of their homes and get together? Will people borrow expensive toys instead of feeling the need to purchase them? Could it even the playing field, so to speak, across socioeconomic lines and encourage a sense of community belonging and family fun?

I'm willing to take the risk to see. It won't be this year and it probably won't be next year, but I feel confident saying within five years one will exist and it will be a spectacular experiment in trust and idealism and togetherness.

Comments

[sugarmaplelife.livejournal.com]

Oh! And!

~Evening Events for working parents. Things like a (everyone's got) Talent Show or an Art Gallery with children's work, snacks, nice music.

~Crayon Stub Recycling Bin

[shauna-aura.livejournal.com]

This sounds like a really interesting idea, and it has a lot of potential. One of the major obstacle that I see is actually more psychological--sometimes toys aren't about the toy or playing with it. It's about, "It's mine." The culture spawning kids who spend more time indoors/alone also spawns individualistic competitors who don't know how to share, don't want to share, don't want to play with someone else's toys, they want their own.

I think even parents might reinforce that if they get stuck into the loop of, "My kids have to have this, they deserve their own toys just to prove we're not broke," which is something that my Mom did. She spent a lot of money on toys that she didn't have so that I wouldn't feel inferior to the other kids at school who had money.

This mind set is also built up by the marketing and advertising, which uses (among other things) trance techniques to pressure us into buying things. Because, we're broke and unworthy if we're not buying things, right? Because the neighbors will think less of me if I don't have a brand new couch. Because my coworkers will look down on me if I can't afford new toys for my kids.

I think what you're talking about doing has the potential to build kids who can share, and kids who can collaborate and play together, but I think that part of what you may need to do is not even about buying the toys and making the space available, but showing the value in this and convincing parents that our culture of waste is not serving their kids.

I can say, I've been trying to reduce my consumption for the past 5-6 years. Mostly what has helped has been having no income for anything but food or necessities. It's not that I don't lust after that $4 coffee or those new clothes or those techie toys or that new phone. I do. But I also recognize that I can shop at Goodwill for clothes, get good clothes, and that they don't have to be "new" to be "good." I know that I shouldn't drink the $4 coffee because the sugar's bad for me anyways. The techie toys--well, maybe some day I'll get an iphone, but that day is not today.

I suppose where I'm going with that is, I have "I want my own thing" as much as anyone else in our culture. I want new clothes, I want a new computer not a used one. I want a computer that's mine, not one that I borrow.

And as a kid, if anyone else would have touched my favorite stuffed animals, I might have, you know, bitten their face off. Then again, one of the reasons I spent a lot of time alone as opposed to playing with neighborhood kids is that they were so mean to me. It wasn't safe to be around them. And that may be another challenge for your organization--that thing kids do where they socially ostracize each other.

Now, if your neighborhood family space could find some way to address *that* dynamic, that would really be something. Maybe something would shift if the kids were doing some kind of neighborhood/collaborative projects together, and each kid was shown to have value to the project in different ways. I have no idea what would shift the dynamic of rejection, only that I would never have wanted to hang out at a neighborhood space where kids from school were, because home was my refuge from the teasing and abuse.

I think you could help to overcome a lot of challenges, but you definitely have a lot of mindsets to shift in doing this, and I wish you the best with it!

[sugarmaplelife.livejournal.com]

You've brought up a lot of issues on my own mind. My biggest driving factor in offering something like this is to directly battle so-called "affluenza". Not only is our level of consumption unsustainable and zombie-like, but if every child has their own television and video game systems and their own extensive set of toys, I think we become increasingly incapable as a society of healthy social interactions from an increasingly young age. I don't think I'm the only parent looking to break away from the pack and to discover new ways to raise and entertain children. You're absolutely right in that there are many children already so enculturated by exposure to marketing that they wouldn't dream of borrowing or sharing a toy instead of owning them all outright. Likewise with parents. And there is no doubt that there is a thriving culture of cruelty and violence in our school system. Lots of reasons to say, "You know what? Kids these days suck. Forget it." I'm not willing to say that, though. I can see a better way. Here's my early thoughts for how to combat affluenza:

* Starting young. Infants and toddlers don't care if a book or toy came from a library. If they're able to interact and inspect something that interests them, they're happy. Their tastes and abilities change rapidly, too, making the idea of borrowing toys and then exchanging them for novel and more advanced toys pretty sensible. These young children also have very fluid ideas of what friends are. My son, nearly three, has no concept of clique. If he plays alongside someone at a park for twenty minutes, he considers them a friend. I think, then, that young children would relish the play opportunities and enjoy the thrill of flipping through a colorful catalog of toys they could borrow. The stumbling point, then, for that age would be the parents. I think parents of young children are always hunting for social and entertainment outlets for their children. Organizing age-appropriate activities and drop-in playgroups may bring in a lot of parents who'd never dream of not-buying-toys. My hope is that some of them will choose to stick around and that having a non-consumer option available may change their thinking slowly over time...that having constant access to a vast library of desirable toys will provide a comfort, a sense of satiation and enough for some. Some families may come for the free access to toys and stay for the community. If they have fun and make friends, it is my hope that they could grow up within the community of the center and have a haven from the marketing messages, the inequality of socioeconomic status, and a place to meet and play with other children under the care and direction of committed, attentive volunteers. This would be no playground free-for-all. There would have to be some agreements about respect and non-violence.

I imagine that the majority of parents wouldn't find the time or the motivation to utilize my services. I'm at peace with that. My hope would be to provide an alternative to shopping malls and days spent in front of a video game console at home for families that were looking for something else. If I collected clients from environmental-minded families, from those practicing Waldorf parenting philosophies, from harried new parents and low income families forced to lower their spending habits, I think I'd have a nice budding little community to spread roots through. It would be my hope that through time and word of mouth, that movement away from needing to shuttle directly from school to stores to home would slowly gain ground.

[ilea.livejournal.com]

This sounds like a great idea. Although you may have a problem with parents thinking lots of kids = germs and not coming based on that. That's one problem the play groups at city park face... they bring out big toys and things (which are disinfected) and the moms go nuts over their kids touching stuff. I say bring on the germs! My kids' immune systems need them.

[sugarmaplelife.livejournal.com]

Yeah, like I mentioned in a comment above, I know there will be plenty of parents who will learn about the services and go, "Oh, hell no!" I'm cool with that. It will be somewhat self-selecting who is a member. ;)

[greyeyedpixie.livejournal.com]

Toy librarians! Awesome~ :)

I think this sounds like a great idea. Many communities could really use something like this.

[sugarmaplelife.livejournal.com]

I know! Fun, right? It looks like there are some that are operated through public (book) libraries and others that are focused on providing access to specialized, high-price adaptive toys for special needs children. Not many outside those two categories. It sounds like I need to make some field trips to check them out, though. :D

[folkchick3.livejournal.com]

I think this is a WONDERFUL idea!
A few thoughts, however...
I do not mean to throw negativity into your beautiful vision (and it IS a beautiful vision!) but I've been in the field with kids and families in Florida for 25 years and I know a lot about how things work. One thing you might want to research is the legalities of such a venture. Provided the parents are with their children at all times, you are not providing "child care" services, which frees you from the nuts and bolts of licensure and child care regulatory standards, however there will still be health department regulations and fire inspections, and other rules regarding a community center of any kind. Any serving of snacks or meals would also be affected by health dept. standards, so you would need to decide whether you wanted to go that route or not. Another thing to think about is liability, for both the onsite center and the toys themselves. I know that this sounds ridiculous, but people are sue-happy these days, and it would be awful to see your beautiful vision negatively impacted because a kid clobbered their sister with one of your toys, or someone fell and got hurt onsite. A simple registration process including a waiver would probably cover that aspect. I would hope liability insurance would not be a necessity, but it's something to consider (I work for a HUGE non-profit (the YMCA) and these are issues we face as well.) Another thing (and this is HUGE) is a screening process for volunteers. The Y does this also... every person that works with or around our children (be it a janitor, administrator or youth specialist) is fingerprinted, background checked and cleared through the police department. If people get antsy about this we simply explain that the safety of our children is more important than anything else. Period. Also, in Florida, the Jessica Lunsford act (http://www.browardschools.com/info/lunsford.htm)requires it of child care programs and schools, and it might apply to community centers as well.This would be something to research. Please do not think that I am trying to discourage you!! I think this is an amazing idea, and I think that you are the PERFECT person to do this!! I look forward to watching this dream grow into a reality... I think it will be so wonderful (I am already wishing I could volunteer to come do a children's music night!!) I am just cautioning you to build a careful foundation. Once (legal) safety structures are in place, you can focus on what is really the heart of the project; the families and children. I believe 100% that you will do this - it is an amazing idea, and you are an amazing person!

[sugarmaplelife.livejournal.com]

Thanks for your support. :)

Having worked as a leader for Spiral Scouts, I'm familiar with the protective legislation requirements. I'd be exempt from most of them, I think, because parents would be required to stay with and supervise their children. I would have background checks on file for volunteers, though, as an added layer of reassurance for parents.

While the services would be free (or virtually free), I would set up a membership system and have people check in on arrival. I'll be hiring an attorney to draw up the membership paperwork, but it would include waivers to legally protect us from lawsuits. (Or at least discourage them. Nothing can prevent suit being brought against you--it just increases one's chance of having the court find in your favor.)

I'm rambling! Let me rein in. :D

While I haven't discussed the nitty-gritty in my own post, I am aware of the huge undertaking I'm proposing in terms of zoning, construction, inspections, legal team, et al. :) That is infinitely less fun to talk about than the rainbows and moonbeams of my overall vision. ;)

[folkchick3.livejournal.com]

Yes - but after all, it is the rainbows and moonbeams that give the vision life!! I am sorry if I seemed negative in any way - I just would hate to see you get hurt in such a beautiful and inspiring endeavor. I think it is a wonderful idea, and that you are the absolute perfect person to make the dream a reality!! I can't wait to see your beautiful plans and vision come to fruition!

[sugarmaplelife.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it is daunting to think of all the paperwork and red tape and unexpected expenses that are going to try and crush the good intentions right out of my idea. Like, is it any wonder that people don't fight to get out of the system too much? Eeeeegh.

[lilith42.livejournal.com]

If you ever end up doing this in the same state I am in (whichever one that might end up being) I will definitely be there, volunteering to make sure that it was a hit. Sound like a lot of work, but it also sounds like a LOT of fun. Can't wait to see your dream come alive :D

[sugarmaplelife.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :D Believe me, I'd welcome the help!

(I am despairing of ever getting well and hanging out. :/ Put in a good word for me, would you? ;) :D)

[elfinecstasy.livejournal.com]

What an amazing idea.

[shauna-aura.livejournal.com]

Affluenza; I love it.

I think what you're looking to do here, in a way, is just as much of a cultural shift as the people living in cohousing and communal living situations, where we adapt out of the "I need my own tv" and into, "let's share this resource." I think it could really work to tackle some of these issues with kids. I definitely am not one for saying, this is hopeless and kids suck so forget it.

I am, on the other hand, fascinated by the ramifications of a communal resource like this, as well as how people adapt to cohousing and communal living. Having done different versions of both, but having been raised with the typical American "I want my own," I know some of the challenges I've faced, even having such strong environmental values as I do.

As I'm thinking of your concept, I'm reminded of a few things I've been thinking of as I look to the future and the possibility of building Pagan community centers. Oprah once interviewed a man who was donating books to schools in Africa. He was donating many many books, and then he hit a wall because there were places where he wanted to donate books and there were no schools. So he began to build schools. But instead of following the model where he hired people to come in and build the school "for" the community, he did fundraising to buy the materials.

The village or town was required to actually build the school. The idea was maximization of resources--that more schools could be built if he didn't have to hire the labor and just use the fundraising money for materials. The other idea was investment. Unlike other schools that patrons have built in that area of the world, which were often vandalized, desecrated, or even burned down, these schools became tended and treasured community resources. Literally, many of these areas made the bricks themselves to build the school for their children to go to.

I think there's something to that model of community investment that can be accomplished, over time. If people want the thing, that they must help to make the thing happen and participate in its creation. I'm not sure how that would work in your model, but it was something I thought of as I read your post.

Perhaps it's even just the energetic difference between a "drive through" model like some day care centers, where parents don't have much interaction with what's going on, and something more like a church, where there's a daycare but the parents are part of it, and they help to set the policy, and they tithe to the organization to ensure that it happens. It sounds like that's more the model you're hinting at vs. something more consumeristic/capitalistic.

This is a great idea, and if it helps children--and, if it helps children from growing into oil guzzling stuff-buying adults--then rocktastic awesome. Good luck with your further brainstorming :D

[sidheblessed.livejournal.com]

I love the idea of toy libraries. My only concern is if a kid get REALLY attached to one particular toy. It's still a beautiful idea and attachment to toys can be worked around.